Revision 05.1.2 — Map Your Course


Time to mark things up and see not only where you are going but how to get there.

“Oh, master, how do I make a statue of an elephant?”
“Get a big block of grey stone, then chip away everything that doesn’t look like an elephant, especially the elephant you’re after.”

Revision is often done holistically rather than linearly. While one could go through correcting just one thing, like passive writing, then make another pass just for dialog, most people carry a whole swarm of things to look for on any one pass. Also, when you change something late in the novel because it makes your lip curl when you read it, you may need to go back and start changing things to meet it. So consider “making a pass” with actual rewriting to be an “all over the canvas” thing rather than starting in one corner and working sections in a neat geometric pattern.

In short, while you start at page one and read through to the end to catch pacing, when you’re actually correcting and revising, expect to flip back and forth a lot.

To Start:

Fill holes. Go through the manuscript looking for summarized scenes or other gaps left which need new writing. It really isn’t a finished draft yet until you do these. Of course, if you’ve already decided you probably aren’t keeping those scenes because of revision, don’t bother.

Remove everything you struck through or otherwise already marked for removal at some earlier time but didn’t want to lose the wordage. (The BIWers and NaNoWriMos know what I mean.)

Print the whole thing out. It’s different on paper, and you need more markup flexibility than on-screen can offer.

The High-Level Pass:

Go through as a reader. This is why you want to be cold to the manuscript. If you’ve forgotten the story a bit, it’s even better, as you might something that’s been in the bottom drawer a while. That’s what the manuscript and your notes are for. At this point, try to be amnesiac and distant. Let it surprise you. Let yourself not know anything the manuscript doesn’t tell you.

Print it out and just read it. This may mean you would be more comfortable with it printed out single-space like a book page. Keep a marking device in one hand to write your reader reactions in the column convenient for your writing hand. I suggest a crayon so you do not get too detailed. You are not here to rewrite. You are here to be a reader who records comments. These include:

  • Wow!
  • giggle
  • LOL
  • Euwww
  • good icky
  • What?!
  • Oh no!
  • Don’t open that!
  • How did this happen?
  • I love this!
  • Why did he do that?
  • Who is she talking about?
  • Not again! (bad)
  • Not again! (good)
  • Where did this come from?

In short, any brief notes when you get a strong reaction or confusion.

Any time you start to skip forward, halt just long enough to mark where you started to skip (“start skip”), then make another mark where you picked up again (“end skip”). Don’t analyze why at this time: you just want to record your reactions as a reader.

This run will identify pacing and character problems, as well as information gaps (you forgot to share with the reader something necessary to know) and some of the stuffing or infodump problems without your having to think of them as such. Just “too much info!”

Sit down with paper and a pen afterwards. Think about what you just finished reading without looking back at the actual pages. What do you want to change this minute? Did you wonder whatever happened to some story thread that petered out? Does something still stick in your memory as extraneous? Would you like to change a character’s personality or motivations? Write it down, simply and succinctly. Doing it by hand encourages that.

If the Manuscript is Too Long:

(The markets can have length limitations. We need to fit them to make a sale. Practically speaking, 80,000 to 90,000 words is the range for f/f/p and historical romances. 100,000-150,000 words is for fantasy and science fiction.)

Now, pick up your colored markers. You need four distinguishable colors. They can be highlighters, marking pens, crayons, or colored pencils. Sort them so you use the lightest, least notable color for the “A” scenes, and the most violently “jump in your face” color for the “D” scenes. “Wha’ scenes?” you ask. Keep reading.

You now begin the editorial passes.

As you go through, now that you remember the story, mark in the other margin (the one without reader reactions) a long vertical line of color for each scene, delimiting it from the adjacent scenes with short horizontals. Make your judgements on the fly. Don’t ponder. Don’t triple-guess yourself. Decide if this scene is —

A: Absolutely vital: set-up, gives the clue, is a major plot pivot, boots the action forward, whether by helping or hindering (and by “action” I don’t mean hoo-hah: it can be the scene where two people talk and come to terms without any screaming, weeping, or jumping through windows). This should be the least notable color so you ignore it in the future. These are the bones of the book.

B: The novel is better with these (necessary scene set-up, characterization that moves the story forward at least some). The second quietest color.

C: Questionable scenes. Consider the main line of the plot and the necessary sub plots. Is this really important for the reader to experience? Could it be better condensed as a Tell or the vital stuff moved into another scene or put across in another conversation that already exists? Don’t decide what to do with it just now, just decide that something could or ought to be changed. Make a note to yourself if you have an idea.

D: Who put this in here? You know at a glance this has to be cut. Use the loudest color for these so you see them fastest. Also use this color to X through anything larger than a couple of lines that you see is pure padding, extraneous subplot that went nowhere, scene you know must go now. If it’s short, line through. This includes repetitions of material.

Wherever you see anything in the marginal notes regarding skipping a section, look at that scene or section really hard. It’s putting even you to sleep.

Is it one of the “D”s? No problem: it won’t be here long.

Is it one of the “A” scenes? You are looking at some rewriting. If the scene bores you, and readers are more easily bored with something than the author, you need to figure out what it needs to be more interesting, because you can’t just drop an “A” scene. Is it too talky? Note that in the margin: “Cut the chatter down.” or “Point the conversation.” Does it ramble and spend too much time and verbiage getting in scenery when most of that is padding? “Prune the history/description/whatever.” Maybe it needs to have some conflict on a subtle level rather than being unalloyed unconditional love or pure infodump.

Is it one of the “B” scenes? Analyze it like an “A” scene. If you have to prune it, this may move it up to an “A” scene or down to a “C.” Recolor outside the original color to indicate this change.

One of the “C” scenes? Consider making it a “D” if it’s a “C” and boring. Circle any important information in it that needs to be moved elsewhere.

Back to the Machine.

Take your marginal notes, your after-read handwritten list, and your color coding to the machine. Save a copy of the version you have now just so your Inner Alarmist will know you can always go back to it.

Go through and remove all the Class “D” scenes. This gets rid of a lot of problems in one blissful swoop.

Do the things on your after-read list, the one of things you want to change. This may actually re-classify how vital some scenes are, so that you change the color-coding in the manuscript. You may also have to do some whole new scenes. These should all turn out to be “A” or “B” scenes.

Go through and rewrite the “A” scenes that need it. Also write any new segments (they should not often be whole scenes) that you need to add missing character or motivation (often a thought of a POV character or a change of voice in a dialogue can do it). Could you manage to smoothly work in info given in “C” level scenes so that some of those could become “D”-level and get removed?

Also ask yourself as you read, is this too much story for a novel? Do I need to hack off the front or back and repoint a new climax? Should this be a trilogy or series? (S. A. Bolich used to tend to monster novels with big time and location breaks in the middle, indicating they were nearly two novels.)

If the Manuscript is Too Short:

(This never happened to me in my life, so I only know what the flaws are from when I’ve seen it in others.)

You still need to go through and mark A-D scenes, just as above, especially the “D”s. Shortness is no excuse for padding. Once you cut “D”s and the degraded “C”s, you may find your story’s real length as a novella or novelette.

Is this too little idea for a novel? Should it be a series of shorts or a novelette? Is it too clean-lined, unlike the tangle of real life? You may need to develop subplots and secondary story lines.

Are you writing too baldly? Do you need to write for richness?

Are there Tells you should expand into Shows? Should some things happen on stage instead of off-stage?

Are you starving the reader for setting and anchoring? Are you making too many assumptions about what they will know or assume? Are you treating too many characters as spear-carriers, and not creating important secondaries to interact with your one or two main characters?

Is the action too simple? Are there places they could or ought to get into difficulties but don’t? Take away their carefully planned equipment in a disasterous accident. Have them get separated from their guide and guardian. Can you insert some spats? Give them a rougher time.

In short, make more story, make more interesting story, and show it happening in rich language. But don’t pad just to make wordage.

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